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Kirssy
Jul 9, 2012 23:51:00 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Jul 9, 2012 23:51:00 GMT -5
Age: 15 Gender: Female Profession: Rangers apprentice Appearance: She is 5'4 has light brown hair and blue eyes skinny but strong she easily blends in to the back round Personality: She is very nice, but shy and quite and very loyal... very secretive History: She was found wondering around with a small amount of cloths and was sent to the ward when she was about 5 and made few friends Additional Information:
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Kirssy
Jul 10, 2012 10:38:33 GMT -5
Post by Brandwyn on Jul 10, 2012 10:38:33 GMT -5
Welcome to Halt's Playground Kirst. Thank you for making a character.
Please be sure to read the rules.
There are several apprentice guides that you may find helpful: Guide to creating good posts and to creating characters for an example. They can be found on the Rules board under the apprentice guides sub board.
You have a good start on your character here, but you need to go into a LOT more detail. Having more detail helps you to roleplay your character and also helps the other players to interact with you. You will find it more interesting and they will find it more interesting if you have a well-thought-out character and you can portray that character in your posts.
This is a writing forum. PLEASE USE COMPLETE SENTANCES AND PUNCTUATION (In your character persona as well as in your posts. You don't have to in the chat box).
A last name for your character would be helpful. If she doesn't know it because she never knew her parents, then she would most likely have been given the last name of the lcoation where she was found or the town or fief where she was a ward (such as Kirssy of Wensley Village). She could also just make up a last name for herself (such as Kirssy Horselover). You could have a lot of fun with this and it could add quite a bit to the depth of your character by giving her a last name.
Appearance: Please go into more detail. Why does she blend into the background? What background? Does she have one of those faces that are so average that no one looks twice at her, or is she wearing some sort of clothing that blends in? How long is her hair and how does she wear it? What kind of clothes does she wear? Does she have any weapons or jewelry? Does she have any scars, tatoos or any other distinquishing marks? Are her clothes of a peasant type, warrior type, farmer type, noblewoman? How does she move (awkward, elegant, lithe, quick, silent, etc) These are just some of the things you could ask yourself and fill in to give her more depth and help the other players be able to recognize her and give them something to work with in their posts.
Personality: I think you are trying to portray her as rather mysterious, right? You need to elaborate here because I think you are going to find it hard to "get into character" with what you have written here. Also, I believe you mean "shy and quiet" (not quite) - little spelling glitch there. Is there some reason why she is shy? Does she prefer to listen and gather information rather than talk? Will she open up to people she knows? Do you mean 'mysterious' when you say she is very secretive or does that mean she has secrets that she doesn't want anyone to find out about? How is she nice? Does she help others? How does she treat other people? Who is she loyal to?
Does she fear anything? Is she very good at anything in particular? What does she love to do? Are there any animals, plants, trees, places that she likes over others or any place she dreams of visiting? Is she interested in boys or does she tend to ignore them or maybe she is afraid of men? Maybe she is afraid of women that remind her of the head mistress of the ward. Did she have friends in the ward? Did she like it there? Does she have nightmares or dwell on her past? Is she curious about her past?
All of these things and many others can help you feel more like you are your character.
History: Again, you need a lot more detail here. Where was she found wandering; in the woods, in a village, in a city, in a castle, on a battlefield? You wrote: "found with a small amount of clothes' So she had clothes that had been packed for her, or were they just what she was wearing? Had she been travelling and so she had a sack with some clothes in it? Who found her? What happened to her parents? Why didn't she make very many friends? What memories does she have before she went to the ward? Did she like living in the ward? What fief was the ward located in? What did she do while she was living in the ward? Did she learn any skills? Can she read and write? Can she swim? Can she ride a horse or climb a tree? Was there something she did in the Ward that caused her to be very good at that activity? (such as climbing trees or running or gathering herbs, etc) What does she want to do with her life? Did she choose to become a ranger or was she chosen? why?. Where is she now and what is she doing?
You can use additional information to list what animals she may have (ranger horse's name and description, pet's name and description), friends or family members not mentioned in the history, or something that doesn't seem to fit in one of the other categories.
These are just some questions to get you thinking about your character so you can come up with some more details.
You have a good start here, but you just need to flesh her out and turn her into a 'real' person.
If you have any questions feel free to post them here, send me a PM or one of the other staff members a PM or post in the chat box at the bottom or on the chatter board. We will do our best to answer them.
Please post here once you have modified your character so we can take a look at her again after you finish adding some details.
We want you to have a great time here so please don't think we are picking on you. We have found that if you put more thought into your character you will have more fun in your role-playing and so will those that you are role-playing with.
Please do read the rules and make note that posts should be in complete sentances with spelling, grammar and puncutation - at least as much as possible (we all make mistakes - regularly - but you need to at least attempt to write coherently on this forum) and also note that there is a minimum length to your posts - you can find that in the rules.
WELCOME! I am glad you found us and I can't wait to get to know you better and start roleplaying with you.
Brandy
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