|
Post by Jordyn on Apr 8, 2014 22:23:30 GMT -5
(Makes no change to character's history. Private to Crowley and Emily)
Emily took a deep calming breath as she reached the door to Crowley's office. It had been a few weeks since the last time she was up there, and she had something that she really needed to say. He's lying to you. The voice said, mocking her scared cries. Shut up! She thought, and knocked on the door softy, using their code knock. Knock-knock,knock-knock. "Please be in there, please." She whispered. "Please don't be in a meeting." She looked down the hallway and back to the door, pushing a strand of pale blonde hair out of her face. "Please, I need to talk..."
|
|
|
Post by Brandwyn on Apr 9, 2014 10:23:45 GMT -5
Crowley recognized the knock on his door even though he was absorbed in studying a map and comparing it to a pile of Ranger and Courier reports on the large table in the center of his office. The map was of the entire Kingdom and had each fife's boundaries clearly marked in thick black lines. It was made from thinly cured pig skin and stretched into a frame mounted on a board made of pulpy wood. The map was already full of tiny pin pricks from several years of marking various events that have occured since he took the office of the Director of the Ranger Corps.
He glanced out the window and judged the time to be mid-morning. "A good time for a coffee break, I think," he said to himself as he pulled on a white cord hanging in the corner of his office. He pulled it a second time so the servant would know to bring coffee and cakes for more than one person. The cord ran straight to the castle servants corridor and rang a tiny bell. They would know what he wanted because he had been doing this every day for years.
Crowley then strode over to the door and opened it and smiled at the small ranger that had become very much like a daughter to him. He motioned her inside and then closed the door behind her. She looked upset. He put an arm around her and directed her over to the soft cushioned chairs in the corner opposite his desk. "Good morning Emily! It's been a while since you have visited. How are things going?" he asked, sitting in the other chair. "Coffee should be arriving momentarily. You have good timing. I was just thinking I needed a break from plotting all those reports on the map." He glanced at the map, a frown of worry crossing his face. He was marking speciic things on his map that the rangers were reporting and was trying to find a pattern in the activity around the Kingdom. But there would be time for that later. Right now it seemed Emily wanted to talk about something. He turned his attention back to her, waiting until she was ready to talk.
|
|
|
Post by Jordyn on Apr 9, 2014 11:24:38 GMT -5
"Good morning Emily! It's been a while since you have visited. How are things going?" he asked, sitting in the other chair. "Coffee should be arriving momentarily. You have good timing. I was just thinking I needed a break from plotting all those reports on the map." "Morning, Crowley!" Emily replied, letting go of a held breath. "Good, I didn't think you'd be here, with 'everything' going on. Coffee?" Emily said, looking at the map, and stack of reports. "Another good reason to be here. You know-" She gestured at the reports. "-if you ask, I'll take some of these out of your hands. But, this is more serious." She paused and looked at her feet. She was nervous to tell Crowley that she had been hearing voices-one that told her to kill King Duncan, and another that told her that she was born to do horrible things. She shook her head to get rid of the tears that had formed. "I'm scared, Crowley." She said, looking up at him. "I keep having this nightmare that won't go away, there's voices in my head, and they keep telling me to-" She stopped taking a deep breath. She looked shell-shocked and anxious. He doesn't care. He'll lock you up for hearing voices in your head! The voice seemed to mock her anxious tones in her voice. "I'm scared, I'm tired, and I feel like I'm being cornered." She said.
|
|
|
Post by Brandwyn on Apr 9, 2014 22:15:25 GMT -5
"I'm scared, Crowley." She said, looking up at him. "I keep having this nightmare that won't go away, there's voices in my head, and they keep telling me to-" She stopped taking a deep breath. She looked shell-shocked and anxious. ... "I'm scared, I'm tired, and I feel like I'm being cornered." She said.
Crowley looked at her with concern. "You know, with everything you went through growing up, I would expect you to have nightmares. In fact I would find it disturbing if you didn't have nightmares," he said cryptically. "Dreams, whether good or bad, reflect your mind's way of dealing with things that happen in real life. think of it like your brain using dreams to process information so it can cope with everything."
"A lot of the time talking about what's bothering you will make the bad dreams go away. So, tell me about the nightmare."
He would start with the nightmare. That would give him time to figure out what to say about her having voices in her head.
|
|
|
Post by Jordyn on Apr 9, 2014 22:22:07 GMT -5
Crowley looked at her with concern. "You know, with everything you went through growing up, I would expect you to have nightmares. In fact I would find it disturbing if you didn't have nightmares," he said cryptically. "Dreams, whether good or bad, reflect your mind's way of dealing with things that happen in real life. think of it like your brain using dreams to process information so it can cope with everything."
"A lot of the time talking about what's bothering you will make the bad dreams go away. So, tell me about the nightmare." Emily nodded slowly, trying to remember as much as she could. "Well, I'm running along a hunting path following my 5-6 year old self, and I get to a crossroads. One leads back to the Castle, the other goes to the next fief over. I hear my dad say something about how I can't run from him forever, and my younger self goes the wrong way. Then it shifts so I see myself getting beat for running off, a man steps in and the scene changes-" She paused and took a shaky breath. "Then I'm here, only I'm on the gallows facing Duncan and then I fall and wake up. Crowley I'm scared, and I can't sleep at night because of this stupid nightmare..." She paused and gathered her thoughts. "And then they come. They never tell me their names, but they tell me crazy things. They say everyone is a liar, that they're just like my dad." She dropped her voice to a whisper. "They're also telling me to try and kill King Duncan." She said. "I can't take it anymore." She put her knifes on the floor next to her. "I don't know what to do."
|
|
|
Post by Brandwyn on May 14, 2014 23:04:48 GMT -5
Crowley rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "It sounds like the first part of your dream is a memory. You did get beaten for running off, right?"
"Do you recognize the man in your dream? What does he look like?" Maybe if she tried to pick out the details it would get her mind to analyze her feelings and that would help.
"The second part where you are on the gallows seems fairly obvious to me," Crowley mused. "You are feeling a lot of anxiety because the King does not trust you and you have lived with fear for so long that you can't really believe you are safe here," he reasoned. "Basically you are waiting for the other shoe to drop. Would you agree?"
Crowley looked her in the eyes, "falling dreams are very common, especially among rangers whose lives are on the line nearly every day. If you can come up with a solution to what is making you feel anxious, then they usually go away. So we need to figure out how to get King Duncan to trust you, or perhaps change your environment so you don't feel like you are in danger from him."
Now for the heart of the problem, Crowley thought. After a pause he said, "I have to admit that your hearing of voices in your head concerns me greatly. I am not really qualified to deal with this situation and I think perhaps you should talk to someone who is better equipped to help you." He hated to pass the buck, but if she were hearing voices that had other personalities and they were making her do things then he wasn't the person who could help her.
"In the meantime I would suggest trying as hard as you can not to listen to the voices and to tell them to go away every time you hear them." He sympathized with her and figured she had already been doing that. "From what I understand a person can see and hear things that are not there when they are deprived of sleep regularly. I suspect you have not been sleeping well because of this nightmare, right?"
"It could be just your anxiety interfering with your sleep and the feeling that you are in constant danger is trying to express itself. Perhaps getting you out away from the King and Castle Araluen might just help you if it reduces your stress level." Crowley suggested. He started shifting through his reports looking for an assignment for her. "I know Duncan doesn't want you out on the countryside, but I think it's high time I remind him that he gave me autonomy over the Rangers when he dumped this title on me. Therefore, since you are a ranger, I can send you wherever I want." He'd never had to challenge the King's wishes seriously before this. Duncan wasn't going to be happy.
"Would you like to get out of here for a while, or would you prefer to stay here and come talk to me every day like we used to. Perhaps I can find someone around here who has gone through the same thing or knows more about it than I do." He looked up from the stack of parchment, "I really think that could help you. What do you think?"
|
|
|
Post by Jordyn on May 20, 2014 10:08:08 GMT -5
"It sounds like the first part of your dream is a memory. You did get beaten for running off, right?" Emily nodded. "Yeah...I was." "Do you recognize the man in your dream? What does he look like?" Maybe if she tried to pick out the details it would get her mind to analyze her feelings and that would help. Emily looked at the ceiling for a moment. "I recognize him a little. I can't remember if his was a friend or one of my dad's snitches, but I do remember that he was a butler or something." Emily looked at Crowley. "He had blue eyes." She shrugged. "Most of the help did." "The second part where you are on the gallows seems fairly obvious to me," Crowley mused. "You are feeling a lot of anxiety because the King does not trust you and you have lived with fear for so long that you can't really believe you are safe here," he reasoned. "Basically you are waiting for the other shoe to drop. Would you agree?" Emily nodded. "How could you tell?" ... She had glanced out the window when Crowley asked his question. Her eyes widened slightly. "You could really do that? Send me out of the Castle? Wouldn't you get in trouble? I wouldn't want you to get into too much trouble." She said, starting to babble a little.
|
|
|
Post by Brandwyn on Jun 12, 2014 8:52:09 GMT -5
Crowley thought back over what she had described of her dream and something stuck out, it seemed significant. "You said in your dream that you reached a crossroads, one led to the castle and the other to the next fief and that you ran the wrong way." He recalled. "which way did your younger self run? Toward the castle or toward the other fief? Which way was the wrong way and why was that wrong?"
>>>
Emily nodded. "How could you tell?"
Crowley just smiled at her. "I am not entirely feeble-minded for such an old geezer," he joked. "Seriously, though, it only makes sense if one takes a look at your behavior and knows your history."
... She had glanced out the window when Crowley asked his question. Her eyes widened slightly. "You could really do that? Send me out of the Castle? Wouldn't you get in trouble? I wouldn't want you to get into too much trouble." She said, starting to babble a little.
"Oh don't you worry about that. Duncan is a pussy cat, or maybe more like a sleeping lion," he said thoughtfully. "But we've had our little disagreements over the years and we always work it out. So don't you worry about me getting into trouble on your account. It isn't you, it's his stubborness that both Halt and I have tried to get him to see reason on. He'll come around eventually."
He sat back in the chair and contemplated the state of the Kingdom right now. Emily knew pretty much everything that was going on in general, having helped him with the reports and correspondence back to the rangers. But neither of them had been out to see it in person. Reading about the plague and famine on parchment was vastly different than experiencing it first hand. And there was this issue in Caraway that Ranger Bunt was having some problems with.
"You know I have been cooped up in this castle for months now," Crowley mused. "Marcus is in town right now and he could cover the fief for Rick," the plan was forming in his mind as he spoke. "Lord knows Rick needs some experience running the Corps if he is ever going to take the reins someday." He stopped, realizing he'd said that in front of Emily. "Err, don't repeat that to anyone. Especially Rick or Marcus. I don't want to scare him off and there is no guarantee Rick is going to get the job when I retire. It's just that I think someone needs to be trained for it and not have it thrust upon them as it happened to me."
There was just a hint of bitterness in Crowley's voice. He liked his job, had enjoyed it for years, but he had always felt he'd been forced to make the choice and had felt a sense of loss of freedom when he'd given up roaming the countryside to come work in the castle as the Director of the Ranger Corps. He wanted his successor to have a choice and not have the regrets he did now.
He smiled at Emily, "I have a plan! You and I are going to go visit Bunt in Caraway and take a look at this Baron in his own element.The King shouldn't mind you running around the courntryside so much if you are doing it with me. Bunt says the man has barricaded himself in the castle and seems to be quite heavy handed in enforcing the laws and dealing with street urchins." Crowley took out a sheet of parchment and scribbled a note to Rick, ordering him to report to the castle immediately. He folded it after it dried and heated up the end of the red sealing wax and let three drops fall onto the seam of the parchment. He took the ring on his left hand middle finger off and stamped the seal of the Ranger Corps down into the cooling wax, then slipped the ring back onto his finger.
"Here, take this to Rick Greenriver. If Marcus is there, bring him along too. You remember the way to his cabin?" Crowley handed her the note."We can take a little vacation together and let Rick run the Kingdom for a week or so. That is if you can stand spending some time with a boring old man?" He smiled at her like a doting father.
|
|
|
Post by Jordyn on Jun 12, 2014 9:03:36 GMT -5
"Well, she went back to the castle." She shrugged. She looked on with interest as Crowley made the letter and smiled. "Caraway?" She asked. "Besides the Baron, what's going on there that they get Commandment Crowley?" She smiled. "And I won't. But your giving me a headache with...something...I don't know what it is." She raised an eyebrow. "Can horses run? (Well, except for lame ones, I know that!) And a boring old man?" She sighed sarcastically. "I might die." She laughed. "So meet back here in an hour or so?" She asked.
|
|
|
Post by Brandwyn on Jun 12, 2014 11:11:57 GMT -5
"Well, she went back to the castle." She shrugged.
Crowley noticed she hadn't answered the "why" the dream Emily went back to the castle. "So did you actually run away from home like that when you were that age?"
(OOC - backing up a minute to discuss this before he gives her the errand to go fetch Rick. I figured you might want to discuss her dream some more. If not, we can move on.)
|
|
|
Post by Jordyn on Jun 12, 2014 11:19:31 GMT -5
Emily looked at the floor. "I got done with the beatings and robbing farmers at night. I ran away at 7, but I was found a couple of weeks later, near the border. That's probably what the crossroads mean. Me not making it away. What's so interesting about it?" She asked.
|
|
|
Post by Brandwyn on Jun 12, 2014 12:31:10 GMT -5
"That could be," agreed Crowley. "But looking back on it, the chances of a seven-year-old escaping that situation and suceeding in running away are pretty slim." He wanted to make her see her situation differntly. "However it wasn't hopeless or useless. I am sure you learned something from that attempt that helped you later on and gave you the strength you needed to get away when you were older," he explained. "think of it as a stepping stone to where you are now. You had to go through that to be able to get here."
"You need to learn to think differntly, not as a victim. Wear your past proudly, it has made you the tough young lady you are today. You've been through hell and lived to tell about it. Use that background, and all those emotions to your advantage when you find yourself in toubh situations now." He hoped that was helping her.
"As for those voices in your head, I wouldn't put much stock in them. If it is a case where you are developing split personalities then each one of those has their own agenda - trying to gain control of you. The more you listen to them and do what they say, the more control they gain over you." He would have to investigate how to best help her with this and hoped that she wasn't going crazy. "Each time you make them back down you regain your control, so keep fighting them. I think it would help if you talked to a healer about it too."
|
|
|
Post by Jordyn on Jun 12, 2014 12:39:08 GMT -5
Emily smiled smally. "You know, you could've been a healer if you weren't a Ranger." She said, laughing. "But I'm glad you are. Anyway, so you want me to take the summons to Rick?" She asked, messing with her hair. "And meet back her in, say an hour?" She paused. "What are you going to tell...You know who?"
|
|
|
Post by Brandwyn on Jun 13, 2014 11:26:32 GMT -5
"Yes, off with you now," Crowley made a shewing motion as he mentally tallied the work stacked on his desk. "I will need to figure out what to leave Rick with and what I have to do myself."
"I will tell His Majesty what I always tell him, that I am needed urgently in Caraway and that I am taking my assistant with me," Crowley answered. "He will protest as he always has in the past any time I leave my desk, but in the end I will pursuade him and he will give his blessing. So don't worry about it. Oh, on your way out could you mention to his court herald that I seek an immediate audience with him? Thanks." Crowley was already rifling through stacks of parchment and sorting them out.
|
|
|
Post by Jordyn on Jun 13, 2014 11:45:34 GMT -5
Emily laughed, picking up the letter. "Tell that..." She paused thinking of the word. "Snitch of a Lord...if it is Anthony there. He is smarter than your typical Chamberlain, you know. He will tell King Duncan. And then.." She rolled her eyes. "I'll have to promise to sit still while he lays out the litany of my sins." She started for the door. "But sure, if you really want me to, I'm right on it." She exited the room and walked down the halls and stairs. She remembered something she forgot to ask and ran back up. "Hey, Crowley, can I take Cropper? It's been a while since he's been out."
|
|