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Post by Brandwyn on Mar 12, 2015 19:51:58 GMT -5
"I know this is bad, but what do you would have happened if I had stayed with my dad?" She asked, looking at Crowley.
At Crowley's silence, she raised an eyebrow at him. "What? It's not like I wasn't going to ask that question sooner or later. So, what do you think would've happened?"
Crowly thought about her question for a couple of minutes. "Mmmm..." he looked at her, seeing a bit of her father in her features, but more of him in her mannerisms. "That is a tough question," he replied.
"Well, I can see a couple of scenerios if you had stayed with Mogaroth instead of running away," he finally answered. "One of the first is that there is a good posibility you wouldn't even be alive today. He was pretty hot-headed and unforgiving and though I would like to think he wouldn't harm his own flesh and blood, I know better. The only thing I ever saw him respect was power and if you were to get in the way of that, he would have eliminated you."
"I can also see him grooming you to be his successor and messing with your mind to turn you against the King until his beliefs and political ambitions became your own and that today you could have been as big a threat to Araluen as he was." Crowley didn't like to think about that possibility, but it was certainly a possibility.
"I believe, however, that you would have turned out much the same as you are now, even if you had stayed with him. The reason I say that is because you have a different moral character at the core of your being than he did. I can see it in you - the look in your eyes, the fact you are struggling so much now trying to win Duncan's favor and in the choices you have made that led you here." Crowley explained. "If you could do things over again, would you make different choices? Didn't you make the choices that you made because they were the right choices for you at the time? They were in sync with your core character - that's why you chose the way you chose." He paused for a moment. "To choose differently would go against who you are, so I think you would be just who you are today - even if you had not managed to leave him when you did."
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Post by Jordyn on Mar 16, 2015 15:22:48 GMT -5
"And now I'm thinking about running away again," Emily said, looking at the ground with a sour look. "Why is it that you and Halt are so...so...strong, and I'm as weak as I am? I mean, I can hardly stand sleeping--even though I could use some sleep--and I'm absolutely terrified of the dark." She said, then looked at Crowley.
"Why did you help me get away from my dad? Weren't you at least somewhat suspicious that I could be a tool for him. To get into Duncan's court?"
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Post by Brandwyn on Mar 18, 2015 17:48:06 GMT -5
"All of us think about running away at least once or twice in our lives, even me," Crowley replied wistfully. He patted his horse's neck affectionately. "My happiest times were right after I gained my silver leaf and was assigned a fief... I miss those days, not that I am not content with my job now, it's just that life was simpler and quieter then. So, yeah, there have been times in the last few years when I seriously considered just walking away from all of this- and the King." He turned to look at Emily, "But he needs me and I would miss this just as much." He held up a hand again, figuring she was going to tell him it wasn't the same thing. "I know that is not quite the same, but it is still a longing to run away from my problems, just like you are feeling right now."
"Where would you go, or what would you do, if you did run away?" He asked, curious if she had even considered it.
"Why is it that you and Halt are so...so...strong, and I'm as weak as I am? I mean, I can hardly stand sleeping--even though I could use some sleep--and I'm absolutely terrified of the dark." She said, then looked at Crowley.
"Weak? You?" Crowley asked increduously. "You really think you are weak?" He shook his head, "I think you are much stronger than you give yourself credit for. I mean, look at what you have done already; you escaped your father at a young age, risking everything - your very life - to do so. That was incredibly brave and took a tremendous amount of strength and resolve." Crowley said vehemently. "Then you have spent how many years under the scrutiny of your father's enemy trying to prove to him you are not your father. Do you have any idea how much strength of character that takes?" Crowley looked at her with admiration in his eyes. "I think you are one of the bravest, most resourceful, patient and strong-willed people I know, and that includes myself, Halt and a good deal of the ranger corps." He reached over and gently squeezed her hand, like a father would to comfort his daughter. "You are also one of the most caring people and that side is what is eating you up inside. Don't sell yourself short."
"Why did you help me get away from my dad? Weren't you at least somewhat suspicious that I could be a tool for him. To get into Duncan's court?"
Crowley immediately shook his head, "No, I never believed that. Give an old man some credit for being a good judge of character. I have never believed that a child is automatically going to have the same character traits as their parent. A great deal of that is learned by your environment at an early age," he explained. "I helped you get away because I saw something in your eyes that day. I saw your will to be free, to live your own life and I also saw you were desperate - that you were at a critical turning point." He steered the stallion around a deep mudhole in the middle of the road that looked like it never dried out all year round.
"Halt and I did discuss the possiblilty of Mogaroth trying to use you to get to the King, but I could see it in your eyes; even if you had been planted there to do harm, you would have fought against that training. I never doubted that you would choose the right path." He pinned her with a stare, "I still believe in you, Emily. You have the ability and desire to be a very good person, you've just not had much of an opportunity yet to let yourself figure out who you really are."
Crowley smiled at her reassuringly, "You might just get that chance in Caraway if things are as bad as Ranger Bunt reports. I am going to be counting on you to help with that situation - but if you feel you are not up to it, when we get there and see what is going, then you be sure to tell me."
"As to your nightmares and being afraid to sleep, I am still working on that problem." He stated. "I still think talking about your dreams and your fears will help you work through them. Usually, though, most peole don't stop having nightmares until they come face-to-face with their fears and stand up defiantly and kick their fear in the face (please don't go up and kick the King in the face)," he added with a pained look. "Eventually you will have to face them and stop running away. But maybe not today."
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Post by Jordyn on Mar 21, 2015 10:15:25 GMT -5
"Where would you go, or what would you do, if you did run away?" He asked, curious if she had even considered it.
"I had considered the Mountains of Rain and Night," Emily said, looking sheepish. "I wasn't really sure what I planned on doing if I left."
"I think you are much stronger than you give yourself credit for. I mean, look at what you have done already; you escaped your father at a young age, risking everything - your very life - to do so. That was incredibly brave and took a tremendous amount of strength and resolve." Crowley said vehemently. "Then you have spent how many years under the scrutiny of your father's enemy trying to prove to him you are not your father. Do you have any idea how much strength of character that takes?" Crowley looked at her with admiration in his eyes. "I think you are one of the bravest, most resourceful, patient and strong-willed people I know, and that includes myself, Halt and a good deal of the ranger corps." He reached over and gently squeezed her hand, like a father would to comfort his daughter. "You are also one of the most caring people and that side is what is eating you up inside. Don't sell yourself short."
Emily blushed lightly and suddenly wished that she'd put her hood over her head to hide it. "Thanks...But I still don't understand. If I had been groomed to be his successor..." She let her voice trail off, hoping that Crowley understood her question.
"No, I never believed that. Give an old man some credit for being a good judge of character. I have never believed that a child is automatically going to have the same character traits as their parent. A great deal of that is learned by your environment at an early age," he explained. "I helped you get away because I saw something in your eyes that day. I saw your will to be free, to live your own life and I also saw you were desperate - that you were at a critical turning point."
"Wait," Emily said, "what do you mean by 'critical turning point?' What I remember is being terrified at first. I thought that you and Halt were going to force me to come with you. I thought you were evil, truthfully..." She looked at her hand. "That's what Nonnie told me, at least. She said, 'Don't go near that Ranger, Emily. Dark magic they perform.' But I never really believed it. I guess it was curiosity that brought be to try and find you before you left..."
She paused for a moment, trying to get her thoughts straight. "When we first left, and after the attack my father sent out after us, I was scared that I had made a bad choice in going with you. I was scared that you'd be exactly like my father and beat me if I did something wrong..."
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Post by Brandwyn on Jul 4, 2015 10:47:29 GMT -5
"Wait," Emily said, "what do you mean by 'critical turning point?' What I remember is being terrified at first. I thought that you and Halt were going to force me to come with you. I thought you were evil, truthfully..." She looked at her hand. "That's what Nonnie told me, at least. She said, 'Don't go near that Ranger, Emily. Dark magic they perform.' But I never really believed it. I guess it was curiosity that brought be to try and find you before you left..."
She paused for a moment, trying to get her thoughts straight. "When we first left, and after the attack my father sent out after us, I was scared that I had made a bad choice in going with you. I was scared that you'd be exactly like my father and beat me if I did something wrong..."
"I mean that I could see the choice you were trying to make. If I left you there, most likely you would have followed in your father's footsteps and now be an enemy of Duncan. It was one of those "now or never" moments that life throws at us." Crowley explained.
Crowley thought back to that day when he had first seen her. "Yes, I saw curiosity in your eyes too, and the need to prove yourself, even then," he mused. "Halt pointed out you already possessed many essential traits of a ranger." He paused for a moment, not sure if he should tell her about their doubts at the time. Right now, he knew instinctively that he must tell her the truth. She would sense if he held anything back.
"I have to admit that we both discussed the possibility that you could be acting as an agent for your father,” he said carefully, “but we both knew it wasn’t true. We trusted our instincts and as rangers, we have learned over the years to rely on our instincts and intuition. They will always win out over logic and social stereotypes.” He looked at her, “in short, we believed you and we still do. All the years since has only proven even more so that we made the right choice and – more importantly – that you made the right choice, even if it was out of curiosity.”
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Post by Jordyn on Sept 6, 2015 22:03:07 GMT -5
She smiled, and some of the anger that had previously been in her eyes faded away. "I hope I did. Besides, if I remember correctly, it was quite funny watching you and Halt try and train me when I was younger. You both bikkered like an old married couple."
She looked away, trying to hide her smile, which had grown wider.
"Remember that one time, when Halt took, or,rather, snuck me out of the castle to go hunting with him? You looked so worried when we got back that I nearly started calling you 'mother hen,' instead of Crowley..." She laughed, and glanced at him. "I think Halt actually started calling you mother hen..."
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Post by Brandwyn on Sept 25, 2015 20:32:00 GMT -5
"Remember that one time, when Halt took, or,rather, snuck me out of the castle to go hunting with him? You looked so worried when we got back that I nearly started calling you 'mother hen,' instead of Crowley..." She laughed, and glanced at him. "I think Halt actually started calling you mother hen..."
Crowley 'harumphed' "I have no idea what you're talking about," he mumbled, remembering the incident as if it were last week. "But if you get Halt started in on that Mother Hen business again, I will send you on a mission to the coldest, snowiest place I can find!" He glared at her, but he wasn't really serious. Halt had irritated the snot out of him at the time, but Crowley had taken it as a sign of affection, both from Halt and from Emily. "Besides, I was truly worried about you - and about what stories Halt might have been telling you without me around to defend myself - you know what I mean." Crowley grinned at her. "I am sure you've noticed his tendancy to blow everything out of proportion unless he's talking about his own antics." He chuckled. This subject was actually an old argument between him and Halt - who told the bigger tales when telling tales on each other? In truth, they exagerated very little, having been trained as rangers to accurately report any given situation. The average person wouldn't find either of their storytelling to be far-fetched, but to each other one was always trying to out-do the other and so it seemed to them that the other exagerated certain details from time to time.
Crowley rode quietly for a moment, remembering the early days when Emily first came to the Ranger Corps. "You know you have grown immensely over the last few years,- matured emotionally, I mean," Crowley said. "You have been the daughter I never had, and also a good friend that I can talk to." His eyes locked on hers and he said intently, "you do realize that, don't you? It has been hard for me, letting you go as you grew up," he tried to explain. "I want so badly to protect you from any more pain and strife. I am part of the reason you have been kept around the castle." He hoped she wasn't going to be mad, but he felt she needed to hear this. "I don't want to let you go, especially with the way Rangers are being targetted these days. I am afraid I have been selfish. I want you here with me, where I can protect you and you can keep me grounded. I am sorry I have been rather selfish." He hung his head. "I can see now that in trying to protect you, I have actually caused you distress. I hope you can forgive me for that." He stole a quick glance to see how she was handling this news. "I can see now how wrong I was to hold you back."
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Post by Jordyn on Oct 4, 2015 15:13:36 GMT -5
Emily laughed, smiling. The expression faded for a moment, however, when he was telling her a out how he'd been protecting her. "I guess I can see your point," she said. "But you don't have to worry so much, Mother Hen. I'll be safe as long as you or Halt is around."
She smiled at him again. "I do seem to remember that my mentors were also family to be, and the best that were there...Halt says you've gone soft..." She let her voice trail off. "But I think it's because of that bedamned desk."
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Post by Brandwyn on Oct 9, 2015 18:39:34 GMT -5
"Ha! Halt is probably right," Crowley looked down at his belly and gave it a pat. "I have gone soft - around the middle!" he laughed, "and you're right too - it IS because of that desk!" He chuckled for a moment.
"Actually, Halt only says that because Lady Pauline is a harsher task-masker than I am, what with making Halt comb his hair and eat with a fork and all," he said with a wicked gleam in his eye. "And you be sure to tell him I said so." Then his smile faded, "On second thought, you'd better not say anything. I don't think Lady Pauline would take that quite in the way I intended," Crowley contradicted himself.
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Post by Jordyn on Oct 20, 2015 7:06:28 GMT -5
"My lips are sealed." she said, grinning at him. "I'd take Halt's anger over Pauline's any day."
She paused, and looked at their surroundings for a moment. "When I tried to steal the money from you...when I was younger...were you mad? And why did you...or Halt...put me in the cell? Was it to teach me a lesson, or something else?"
She sighed. "I'm sorry if I'm getting annoying...I just need to know."
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Post by Brandwyn on Apr 3, 2016 19:58:18 GMT -5
Crowley shook his head, "I wasn't mad... I was... disappointed," he said quietly. "At first I wondered why you felt you needed to take any money since you had enough food, a place to sleep and your basic needs were met," he explained. "After some thought I realized you were testing me, to see what you could get away with and that is when I determined you needed some boundaries established between us."
"I put you in the cell to teach you that there are consequences to your actions. I wanted you to know that you couldn't just do anything you want without there being some consequence. I also wanted you to know that I wasn't going to beat you for stealing, like your father would have done had you stolen from him, but that I wasn't going to let you get away with it scott free either."
Crowley smiled gently, "and you are not being annoying. So why did you think I put you in the cell?"
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Post by Jordyn on Apr 11, 2016 7:44:44 GMT -5
"I thought that you were turning into my father," Emily said, looking away from her mentor. Her cheeks turned a shade of red, and she quickly pulled her hood up, hiding it.
Emily let the conversation slip away for a moment as she gathered her thoughts.
"So, can you explain to me why the Ranger Bunt or whatever can't handle this by himself? I thought he was a good Ranger?"
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Post by Brandwyn on Apr 17, 2016 21:39:31 GMT -5
Crowley couldn't quite see how she thought he would become like the girl's father, but the man had done quite a good job at messing with her head. He let it drop since she didn't press the thought further.
"So, can you explain to me why the Ranger Bunt or whatever can't handle this by himself? I thought he was a good Ranger?"
He is a good ranger, but he asked for a fresh viewpoint from someone who has not been immersed in the situation there for months. Sometimes a fresh eye can see what the other has been overlooking. There is corruption in Caraway and possibly Marshwood, Norgate and Araluen fife's as well. We aren't sure who it involves or how deep it goes."
Crowley thought back to the reports he'd been getting from Bunt and even some things Tandar had reported through his familial estate in Caraway. "If the Baron himself is involved and if it turns out to be a plot to gain control of the Kingdom from King Duncan, then it could plunge us into another civil war. We need to find out exactly what is happening, how it ties to this Wargal plague and Picta and who is really pulling the strings to orchestrate the whole thing."
"You have read many of the reports. If you have any theories, no matter how wild or impossible they may seem, please don't keep them to yourself."
"I am not sure how much attention you paid to the reports. Do you need me to give you a summary of the conditions in Caraway and what Bunt's concerns are?" Crowley asked Emily.
He had his satchel full of the reports pertaining to the northern fifes and had been puzzling over them for weeks trying to connect the dots. There was something just on the edge of his conciousness, but so far it was eluding him. He often liked to discuss different topics and details in reports with someone like Halt or Emily in the hopes that they point out something he overlooked and thereby put in the key piece to the puzzle.
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Post by Jordyn on Apr 18, 2016 8:25:37 GMT -5
"If the Baron himself is involved and if it turns out to be a plot to gain control of the Kingdom from King Duncan, then it could plunge us into another civil war. We need to find out exactly what is happening, how it ties to this Wargal plague and Picta and who is really pulling the strings to orchestrate the whole thing."
"So we aren't sure if this Baron is going into the Mountains or not?" Emily asked. "I mean, that's where the Wargals went after my Father died, right?"
"I am not sure how much attention you paid to the reports. Do you need me to give you a summary of the conditions in Caraway and what Bunt's concerns are?"
"I paid a little bit of attention to the reports. What did the reports say exactly?"
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Post by Brandwyn on Apr 20, 2016 20:24:25 GMT -5
"So we aren't sure if this Baron is going into the Mountains or not?" Emily asked. "I mean, that's where the Wargals went after my Father died, right?"
"No, I doubt the Baron of Caraway is going into the Mountains of Rain and Night. Someone brought the Wargals to Norgate from the mountains a year ago and we believe they infected them with the Plauge and turned them loose on Castle Norgate knowing the people who fought the Wargals would become infected - thus taking out the castle's defensive warriors and making it vulnerable for invasion," Crowley explained, half talking to himself as if trying to work out a puzzle in his mind.
"We are trying to find out who is behind it all. I don't know if the Baron of Caraway has anything to do with it or not, but Bunt thinks he might be involved." Crowley tapped his forehead, "It's right here, on the verge of popping into my head, but I am missing the key to the puzzle. It's so frustrating!"
"Bah! It makes my head hurt," he grumbled. "Anyway, Bunt says the Baron has not been very helpful through all this plauge business. His behavior could be just chalked up to fear of catching the plauge. He has locked himself away in a wing of his castle and won't see anyone directly. His chamberlain is not even allowed to approach him, but says he must communicate across an empty room. The Baron is also hoarding food in the castle and has raised the taxes three times during the past year." Crowley had reports from Bunt and the Caraway Battlemaster, as well as a few from Tandar when he had been back home for his father's funeral and to settle the family estate. There were others that have been reporting to Lady Pauline and the King and all of them seemed to be leading to a state of unrest in Caraway.
"Bunt feels if the Baron keeps on the path he is going, the commoners are going to take up arms and storm the castle because they know there is food in there. People are actually starving after having survived the plauge. Everyone is afraid to work the fields, or there aren't enough people left who know what to do to plant and harvest crops. Refugees are still pouring in from Norgate and Marshwood trying to outrun the plague and catch a ship to Gallica or Skandia, although the numbers are starting to dwindle now."
Crowley looked right at Emily, "and do you know what the most disturbing piece in this puzzle is?"
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