Post by Brandwyn on Aug 9, 2011 22:58:50 GMT -5
Discussions (Warning: adult subject matter: child abuse)
*(OOC: This thread open to Tory and Tandar only and takes place at the Gathering Grounds in the Year 657)
Tory’s archery class was over and she could now let the huge ball of knots in her stomach go. Either it hadn’t gone as bad as she thought, or the ones who took it were lying to make her feel better. She wasn’t sure which, but she felt it had been okay. She had certainly seen improvement in Tam’s riding since she’d last seen him and some of the others had picked up the techniques fairly easily. Maybe she didn’t totally suck at teaching.
Now she had a couple of free hours until suppertime since she didn’t have to cook or do any other chores this night. She thought about going to find Dustin, but knew he was probably still being tested. She wondered how that would work out between them once he became a ranger. As her thoughts meandered, she was meandering aimlessly on Chip through the gathering grounds, letting him go where he wanted.
She had her head buried in Chip’s mane with half her body draped over his withers and neck and she was letting him go wherever he wanted, trusting that he knew where he was going. She felt them climbing and heard the sound of running water and determined they were following the stream above the waterfall that filled the lake. Suddenly Chip stopped and gave a low whicker. Tory lifted her head and looked around. She knew that whicker and he only did that for three people or horses; Ringulf, Mylia or Tandar and their ranger horses. He had a different one for Patrick and usually he would snort when he smelled Patrick’s sidekick, Hunter.
Tory saw Tandar standing about 20 feet in front of them. He had his right foot up on a rock and was resting his elbow on his knee. He was tossing small twigs or something into the water and watching them float downstream and had a thoughtful look on his face. Tory hadn’t had much time to talk to him since they’d arrived and although he seemed to be better, she wondered now if he was still having the same problems that had driven him to taking a leave of absence.
She sat up straight and nudged Chip forward, giving him the signal to make noise so Tandar would know they were coming, assuming he hadn’t already heard them. She rode up and could tell he knew she and Chip were there even though he didn’t look right at her.
“Hi Tandar,” she said with a smile and slipped down from Chip as she looped the reins over the saddle horn. “Do you have a bit of time? We haven’t had much chance to talk and if I am going back to Meric with you, I think you need to know…some things.” She finished softly, holding onto Chip’s neck and taking a deep breath after she noticed her hands were shaking.
Part of her wanted to talk about her past, but only two people besides her mother knew the whole story and it was a big risk to talk about it. Tory knew that people in Meric believed that she was rebellious and mischievous and felt she deserved the beatings Korrin had given her. All of her life she had been judged and found lacking and she was afraid of what Tandar would think of her when he knew the whole story. He might already know a lot of it, because she had told his first apprentice, Drenith most of it and he might have filled Tandar in, but it was time he heard the whole dirty story.
She sent Chip off to graze after taking his bridle off and hanging it on her saddle horn. Then she sat down on the ground a few feet behind Tandar and leaned against a rock. She drew her legs up and wrapped her arms around them and rested her chin on her knees for a moment, gathering her thoughts and watching Tandar with a look of apprehension on her face. She trusted Tandar, but they had yet to build a close relationship and so baring her soul to him was very difficult and from the look on his face, he seemed to have something on his mind as well.
She opened her mouth and took a deep breath, “Where to start?” she asked herself, watching the water flowing by beyond Tandar. “I guess you need to know the history of my parents first to understand what happened to me.” She looked up at him and chewed on her bottom lip for a moment. “As you know, my father is Sir Karl Waterton, Master-of-Arms at Meric castle, but he gave up his knightly duties when he was injured when I was an infant. Before that happened he fell in love with my mother. She is a serf, belonging to Lord Colburn and is very beautiful. Because of the difference in their stations, my father being of the nobility even before he was knighted, they were forbidden to marry and so they hid their relationship for many years before and even after I was born.” Tory paused to make sure she hadn’t put Tandar to sleep yet.
“Lord Colburn was married to Lady Colburn before I was born, but there has never been any love between them. Lord Colburn loved her lands and money, but cared little for her and so he stayed away as much as he could and still does. This left Lady Colburn to run the manor and handle the day-to-day business as she desired.” Tory continued, wiping a curl of hair from her face. “She thought she was in love with my father, but he would not have anything to do with her, not only because she was married and because he loved my mother, but also because she is not a good person. I believe she is evil, but I might be a little bit biased.” Tory said vehemently. “Anyway, she pursued him and he spurned her. That has continued down through all of the years and my father never married anyone.”
She hoped Tandar didn’t have anywhere to go, because her background wasn’t going to be told in a couple of minutes. She pressed on. “When I was almost 5 years old, Lady Colburn found out that I was his daughter. I have no idea how she found out, but she did. That is when my life went downhill – fast.” Tory thought back to those early years and her memory was just flashes of fun times with one or the other of her parents and a whole lot of blurred images of work in the manor house. “She put me to work as soon as she found out and no matter what I did, she had me punished for some mess-up on my part. I found out later that it mostly happened every time my father turned her away or rebuffed her advances. She used her Chatelaine, Korrin, to administer the punishment.”
Tory closed her eyes and shuddered at the memories of the beatings she used to get. “At first he would just slap me in the face or smack my hands with that willow switch he always carried. A few months down the road it turned to smacking me on the butt with his hand and then he started using the willow switch.” Tory stared off at the sparkling sunlight on the water that looked like tiny diamonds floating by. “I remember the first time he used the whip. It was the cat-o-nine tails that time, later he preferred the bull whip when I was older. I had been sent to clean the Lady’s bed chamber and when I finished I was so exhausted I fell asleep on her bed. I didn’t mean to, but I had spent two days working in the kitchen, then the garden and then cleaning the manor without any rest. The bed was so soft…” her voice trailed away. “Three stripes was the punishment and I screamed that time…I screamed a lot after that for he used the whip from that time on.” She was just talking now, forgetting that it was Tandar she was talking to. She was caught up in the nightmares again. “Over the years it became a sick and twisted game between Korrin and I. He tried his best to make me scream and I tried my best to not give him the satisfaction. Most of the time I lost.”
She rubbed her face on her arms and paused, struggling to reveal the deepest hurt. “When I was around 11 he found a new way to torment me and She not only allowed it, she encouraged it. He…Korrin…There was a night when I had to stay at the manor house instead of returning to the shack my Mother and I lived in. They made me sleep in the storeroom and he came there…in the middle of the night. He did…things…you know…” She couldn’t continue. Even now she couldn’t actually say what happened. But instead of crying now, as she used to do, she fueled the little ball of anger that had been building inside of her for years. “After that they found more excuses to keep me in the manor overnight. Every time that I had to stay, he…visited me. Sometimes she came and…she would stand quietly and watch and then laugh that wicked cackle of hers as she walked away. It was when the whippings started that I started to get the nightmares…”
There was more, but she looked up fearfully at Tandar wondering how he was taking all of this. The ‘more’ was the way she had been treated by nearly everyone at the manor. “I was the daughter of unwed parents, therefore classified as a bastard by the church. Not only that but I was the bastard of a serf. After it came out that my father was a noble, things went from bad to worse. The other children tormented me, the adults laughed at me or shoved or kicked me a lot. Just before I left I was getting groped a lot when I had to serve tables. I didn’t have any real friends, though a couple of girls were nice to me when no one was looking. My real friends were the horses and the other animals. They never judged me for what my parents did, only for how I treated them.”
Used to being shunned, she had been amazed when Patrick had heard the tale and treated her so gently. He had actually softened in that moment and she had caught the glimpse of the real Patrick that he kept hidden inside the callous shell. No one could understand what that connection had meant to her which is why no one could understand her loyalty to him. Now she wondered if Tandar was going to shut her out and look down on her as so many others had in the past or would he open up to her? He was noble born and she was technically a serf like her mother. Only by having her father officially claim her as his would she escape that classification. How could a noble born ranger want someone as horrible as her for his apprentice? She slowly expelled the breath she was holding and realized she was shaking all over and it wasn’t from the late afternoon breeze that was getting stronger.
"I know I must be a horrible person or I wouldn't have been punished like that. I have to admit I don't have much respect for authority and I suppose I should, but I just can't see how people like Korrin or Lady Colburn deserve any respect. But now that you know a lot of it, not all mind you, but a lot of my past, I wouldn't blame you if you tell Crowley you don't want me back as your apprentice." Tory stared dismally at the stream chattering away in the beautiful, serene landscape.
*(OOC: This thread open to Tory and Tandar only and takes place at the Gathering Grounds in the Year 657)
Tory’s archery class was over and she could now let the huge ball of knots in her stomach go. Either it hadn’t gone as bad as she thought, or the ones who took it were lying to make her feel better. She wasn’t sure which, but she felt it had been okay. She had certainly seen improvement in Tam’s riding since she’d last seen him and some of the others had picked up the techniques fairly easily. Maybe she didn’t totally suck at teaching.
Now she had a couple of free hours until suppertime since she didn’t have to cook or do any other chores this night. She thought about going to find Dustin, but knew he was probably still being tested. She wondered how that would work out between them once he became a ranger. As her thoughts meandered, she was meandering aimlessly on Chip through the gathering grounds, letting him go where he wanted.
She had her head buried in Chip’s mane with half her body draped over his withers and neck and she was letting him go wherever he wanted, trusting that he knew where he was going. She felt them climbing and heard the sound of running water and determined they were following the stream above the waterfall that filled the lake. Suddenly Chip stopped and gave a low whicker. Tory lifted her head and looked around. She knew that whicker and he only did that for three people or horses; Ringulf, Mylia or Tandar and their ranger horses. He had a different one for Patrick and usually he would snort when he smelled Patrick’s sidekick, Hunter.
Tory saw Tandar standing about 20 feet in front of them. He had his right foot up on a rock and was resting his elbow on his knee. He was tossing small twigs or something into the water and watching them float downstream and had a thoughtful look on his face. Tory hadn’t had much time to talk to him since they’d arrived and although he seemed to be better, she wondered now if he was still having the same problems that had driven him to taking a leave of absence.
She sat up straight and nudged Chip forward, giving him the signal to make noise so Tandar would know they were coming, assuming he hadn’t already heard them. She rode up and could tell he knew she and Chip were there even though he didn’t look right at her.
“Hi Tandar,” she said with a smile and slipped down from Chip as she looped the reins over the saddle horn. “Do you have a bit of time? We haven’t had much chance to talk and if I am going back to Meric with you, I think you need to know…some things.” She finished softly, holding onto Chip’s neck and taking a deep breath after she noticed her hands were shaking.
Part of her wanted to talk about her past, but only two people besides her mother knew the whole story and it was a big risk to talk about it. Tory knew that people in Meric believed that she was rebellious and mischievous and felt she deserved the beatings Korrin had given her. All of her life she had been judged and found lacking and she was afraid of what Tandar would think of her when he knew the whole story. He might already know a lot of it, because she had told his first apprentice, Drenith most of it and he might have filled Tandar in, but it was time he heard the whole dirty story.
She sent Chip off to graze after taking his bridle off and hanging it on her saddle horn. Then she sat down on the ground a few feet behind Tandar and leaned against a rock. She drew her legs up and wrapped her arms around them and rested her chin on her knees for a moment, gathering her thoughts and watching Tandar with a look of apprehension on her face. She trusted Tandar, but they had yet to build a close relationship and so baring her soul to him was very difficult and from the look on his face, he seemed to have something on his mind as well.
She opened her mouth and took a deep breath, “Where to start?” she asked herself, watching the water flowing by beyond Tandar. “I guess you need to know the history of my parents first to understand what happened to me.” She looked up at him and chewed on her bottom lip for a moment. “As you know, my father is Sir Karl Waterton, Master-of-Arms at Meric castle, but he gave up his knightly duties when he was injured when I was an infant. Before that happened he fell in love with my mother. She is a serf, belonging to Lord Colburn and is very beautiful. Because of the difference in their stations, my father being of the nobility even before he was knighted, they were forbidden to marry and so they hid their relationship for many years before and even after I was born.” Tory paused to make sure she hadn’t put Tandar to sleep yet.
“Lord Colburn was married to Lady Colburn before I was born, but there has never been any love between them. Lord Colburn loved her lands and money, but cared little for her and so he stayed away as much as he could and still does. This left Lady Colburn to run the manor and handle the day-to-day business as she desired.” Tory continued, wiping a curl of hair from her face. “She thought she was in love with my father, but he would not have anything to do with her, not only because she was married and because he loved my mother, but also because she is not a good person. I believe she is evil, but I might be a little bit biased.” Tory said vehemently. “Anyway, she pursued him and he spurned her. That has continued down through all of the years and my father never married anyone.”
She hoped Tandar didn’t have anywhere to go, because her background wasn’t going to be told in a couple of minutes. She pressed on. “When I was almost 5 years old, Lady Colburn found out that I was his daughter. I have no idea how she found out, but she did. That is when my life went downhill – fast.” Tory thought back to those early years and her memory was just flashes of fun times with one or the other of her parents and a whole lot of blurred images of work in the manor house. “She put me to work as soon as she found out and no matter what I did, she had me punished for some mess-up on my part. I found out later that it mostly happened every time my father turned her away or rebuffed her advances. She used her Chatelaine, Korrin, to administer the punishment.”
Tory closed her eyes and shuddered at the memories of the beatings she used to get. “At first he would just slap me in the face or smack my hands with that willow switch he always carried. A few months down the road it turned to smacking me on the butt with his hand and then he started using the willow switch.” Tory stared off at the sparkling sunlight on the water that looked like tiny diamonds floating by. “I remember the first time he used the whip. It was the cat-o-nine tails that time, later he preferred the bull whip when I was older. I had been sent to clean the Lady’s bed chamber and when I finished I was so exhausted I fell asleep on her bed. I didn’t mean to, but I had spent two days working in the kitchen, then the garden and then cleaning the manor without any rest. The bed was so soft…” her voice trailed away. “Three stripes was the punishment and I screamed that time…I screamed a lot after that for he used the whip from that time on.” She was just talking now, forgetting that it was Tandar she was talking to. She was caught up in the nightmares again. “Over the years it became a sick and twisted game between Korrin and I. He tried his best to make me scream and I tried my best to not give him the satisfaction. Most of the time I lost.”
She rubbed her face on her arms and paused, struggling to reveal the deepest hurt. “When I was around 11 he found a new way to torment me and She not only allowed it, she encouraged it. He…Korrin…There was a night when I had to stay at the manor house instead of returning to the shack my Mother and I lived in. They made me sleep in the storeroom and he came there…in the middle of the night. He did…things…you know…” She couldn’t continue. Even now she couldn’t actually say what happened. But instead of crying now, as she used to do, she fueled the little ball of anger that had been building inside of her for years. “After that they found more excuses to keep me in the manor overnight. Every time that I had to stay, he…visited me. Sometimes she came and…she would stand quietly and watch and then laugh that wicked cackle of hers as she walked away. It was when the whippings started that I started to get the nightmares…”
There was more, but she looked up fearfully at Tandar wondering how he was taking all of this. The ‘more’ was the way she had been treated by nearly everyone at the manor. “I was the daughter of unwed parents, therefore classified as a bastard by the church. Not only that but I was the bastard of a serf. After it came out that my father was a noble, things went from bad to worse. The other children tormented me, the adults laughed at me or shoved or kicked me a lot. Just before I left I was getting groped a lot when I had to serve tables. I didn’t have any real friends, though a couple of girls were nice to me when no one was looking. My real friends were the horses and the other animals. They never judged me for what my parents did, only for how I treated them.”
Used to being shunned, she had been amazed when Patrick had heard the tale and treated her so gently. He had actually softened in that moment and she had caught the glimpse of the real Patrick that he kept hidden inside the callous shell. No one could understand what that connection had meant to her which is why no one could understand her loyalty to him. Now she wondered if Tandar was going to shut her out and look down on her as so many others had in the past or would he open up to her? He was noble born and she was technically a serf like her mother. Only by having her father officially claim her as his would she escape that classification. How could a noble born ranger want someone as horrible as her for his apprentice? She slowly expelled the breath she was holding and realized she was shaking all over and it wasn’t from the late afternoon breeze that was getting stronger.
"I know I must be a horrible person or I wouldn't have been punished like that. I have to admit I don't have much respect for authority and I suppose I should, but I just can't see how people like Korrin or Lady Colburn deserve any respect. But now that you know a lot of it, not all mind you, but a lot of my past, I wouldn't blame you if you tell Crowley you don't want me back as your apprentice." Tory stared dismally at the stream chattering away in the beautiful, serene landscape.