Gorim
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Swooping is bad
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Post by Gorim on Jan 20, 2010 20:10:55 GMT -5
I have an idea for an RA fanfiction, and I was wondering if you could look over the idea and tell me what you think.
During Seventhday Mass, a rival family attacks the royal family, murdering King Duncan and severely injuring Princess Cassandra. While Araluen is attacked from within, Will and Horace venture out to try and gather their allies as the rival family sieges the Castle and takes over the surrounding areas.
As they travel, Will and Horace not only gather old friends (The Wakir from Erak's Ransom, the king of Clonmel , several nobles from Gallica, and the Skandians) but also make new ones in the form of a tribe of nomads that owe an Araluen they call Walks In Shadow, presumably a Ranger. They're very similar to Rangers in that they focus on archery, form close relationships with their horses, and favor stealth and cunning over brute strength.
That's the basic thing. I'd probably post it here if people are interested. It's based on the stabbing of the Medici family in Florence. Look it up; really interesting stuff.
So, any interest?
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Post by Ringulf on Jan 20, 2010 20:34:22 GMT -5
Hey Gorim that does sound very interesting and the historical model you chose is absolutely fascinating. Mega plot line and intrigue. My only reservation would be the killing of King Duncan and that it might reduce the likelihood of the story going anywhere but here due to the lack of "canonical" plot line. In other words I think Mr. Flanagan and or his fan base might get ticked off if you kill off their King! But aside from that the idea has merit. If there is anything I can do to help even if that is just adding another set of eyes into the proof reading or something, don't hesitate to shoot me a PM or email. I have not been on HP for long but I have been an avid fantasy/sci fi/ historical reader and "writer" for a number of years an would be happy to help!
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Gorim
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Swooping is bad
Posts: 48
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Post by Gorim on Jan 20, 2010 23:38:40 GMT -5
Okay, so apparently the king of Clonmel is (spoiler alert) Halt's nephew, Sean. If anyone can send me a brief summary of his personality and appearance, that would be great, but here's a little scene I have in my head, based on my idea of him. I wish I could read The Kings of Clonmel myself, but it's isn't meant to be. Anyway, this scene is what I have in mind for the kings of Hibernia banding together to fight the usurpers of Duncan's throne, at the rallying of Sean.
--
Sean stood in the center of the ring of stones, took a few deep, calming breaths, then boomed, "Kings of Hibernia! My brothers!" The kings stopped talking amongst themselves and looked up with interest. "A tide of war threatens our futures. In our sister country of Araluen, a band of treacherous cowards has attacked King Duncan and his daughter, and threatened to take the country from within." He paused, letting the news sink in. King Duncan had been the referee between the kings in their long-time bickering, and had earned their respect over time. The new of the treachery caused many kings to scowl or shake their heads and mutter. Sean continued, "We owe King Duncan a great debt, my friends. A debt that must be paid now, in full." The kings fidgeted and shifted on their feet, and Will felt his heart plummet. None of them wanted to join the war, even for Duncan.
Sean's eyes hardened. "There may well be a day when the strength of Hibernia fails," he said quietly, in a voice that still managed to carry to each king. "When we forsake our friends, and break all bonds of fellowship, but by my blood, it will not be this day! Or tomorrow!" He stood straight and looked into the eyes of each man around him. "There may be an hour of shattered shields and cawing crows in which we fall. But it will not be today! Or tomorrow, at the hands of a man who would attack a girl in the church!" The kings straightened, their eyes hardening. "Will we fall back into our castles at the sight of this man? Will we run in fear from a coward such as he?" There was silence. "Are we cowards?!"
"NO!" The kings yelled in unison, and Will shared a look with Horace.
"We will stand and fight!" Sean roared. "Men of Hibernia! We will fight for what we love in this good Earth, and we will do it together!"
--
And that's just a scene I wanted to type out. Stuck in my head. It's inspired by Aragorn's speech in Return of the King. That scene made my shiver.
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Dougal
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Post by Dougal on Jan 21, 2010 1:53:43 GMT -5
While it is an interesting idea, I'm not entirely sure about the idea of a rival family. It just doesn't seem to mesh with what we've been told about Araluen politics. So far as I can tell, the only contender other than Duncan for the Araluen throne when the previous king died was Morgarath, and he didn't have a legitimate claim. On the other hand, it is an interesting idea, so maybe the threat could be a baron or duke who is very loosely related to Duncan or perhaps a branch of the royal family sent into exile years ago.
Anyway, if you're still going to go ahead with it, I'll be more than happy to send you a description of Sean's appearance and personality.
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Gorim
Ward
Swooping is bad
Posts: 48
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Post by Gorim on Jan 21, 2010 10:36:21 GMT -5
Well, I mean more of an ambitious noble family, or general, or something. Not really a rival family; I was just in a Medici thing at the time.
Yes, Dougal, if you could, that'd be great. *sigh* With my luck, the guy's a wuss. Or, like, twelve. *sigh*
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♥★Evanm7♥
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Post by ♥★Evanm7♥ on Jan 21, 2010 15:56:15 GMT -5
"There may well be a day when the strength of Hibernia fails," he said quietly, in a voice that still managed to carry to each king. "When we forsake our friends, and break all bonds of fellowship, but by my blood, it will not be this day!
...Really?
"There may well be a day when the strength of man fails, When we forsake our friends, and break all bonds of fellowship, but it will not be this day!"
Top is Gorim's, bottom is Aragorn from Lord of The Rings. Just pointing it out. It felt... wrong.
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Gorim
Ward
Swooping is bad
Posts: 48
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Post by Gorim on Jan 21, 2010 17:31:26 GMT -5
Yeah yeah...
Rough draft = heavily inspired by Aragorn's awesome speech.
I was waiting for someone to point that out.
Now then, do you have anything real to say about my story besides sniping at the rough draft?
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♥★Evanm7♥
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Post by ♥★Evanm7♥ on Jan 21, 2010 18:19:40 GMT -5
-Snip-
Aha.... Well... Not much to go after. In the words of Maka Vam, "I can't vote for for a one-paragrapher"
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Gorim
Ward
Swooping is bad
Posts: 48
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Post by Gorim on Jan 21, 2010 18:24:51 GMT -5
Well, does the idea sound alright? Would you be interesting in reading it?
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Gorim
Ward
Swooping is bad
Posts: 48
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Post by Gorim on Jan 22, 2010 17:56:55 GMT -5
Another scene in my head. This takes place at the Battle of Castle Araluen. A Ranger built a flying machine (a glider, basically) and Will's agreed to use it to fly over the walls to open the gates and let the armies in to fight the bad guy, who is as of yet unnamed, and his allies. The scene is inspired by Leonardo creating the flying machine in ACII. Definitely the most creative part of the game, and therefore it was what I was worst at. But I digress...
The whole thing just seemed very... Ranger-y. The use of thermals and the flying machine. I felt the need to include it, once it popped into my head.
--
The army below them was teaming, restless and eager, as darkness was started to fall. The Skandian's enormous bonfires both lit the field, and set a course for Will to get to the castle. He, Nivari, Sean, Horace and Edward stood on a hill overlooking the field and the castle far into the distance. Will was in a racing starting position with a very large, batlike contraption on his back, made of light wood and reddish tarp, while the rest of them, a motley crew of people, stood around him.
"Okay, Will," the older Ranger said cheerfully. "Remember, the heat of the fire will keep you aloft. So aim for fire if you start to loose altitude. And try to fly over the flaming tree to get that last lift to get over the wall."
"Right," Will said slowly, trying to ignore the feeling of vertigo that was already starting to settle in his stomach. Climbing up towers was one thing. Flying high above fields, over large bonfires, and towards a very high, very solid wall with the inability to stop was quite another.
"Good luck, Will," Horace said bracingly. "I'm sure you'll be fine." Will glared at him.
"You're just glad this isn't you," he said accusingly. Horace grinned.
"You did volunteer, Laddie," Sean said smugly. Will groaned.
"Don't remind me," he said, taking several deep breaths. "Okay. I think I'm ready."
"Alright, wait for a good wind," Edward said, patting Will on the arm bracingly. "And remember. Aim for fire."
Before Will could say anything, Nivari spoke up in her rich, heavily accented, yet remarkably fluent English. "Pardon me, and this may just be an benighted layman speaking, but aim for fire seems to me to be a rather... questionable instruction." Will bit back a grin as Edward stared at the wild-looking woman, indignant. "Has this 'flight with thermals' been tested before?" She asked pointedly.
"Well...." Edward said slowly, scratching the back of his head awkwardly. "No. But this is a great time to try it." Before Will could hear Navari say anything else sensible, he took a very deep breath and, just as the wind began to pick up, ran down the hill and caught the breeze. The air wooshed up from under the tarp wings of the glider and gave him initial lift, but it was up to him and the fire to glide all the way to the walls of the castle.
Back at the hill, Sean crossed himself and began murmuring a quiet prayer for the young Ranger. Nivari sighed and Edward watched with a decided grimace. Horace looked at the people standing around him and said, "He'll be fine. He's Will. He's always fine."
--
Just wanted to get that down before it disappeared, as things like that so often do.
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Dougal
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Post by Dougal on Jan 22, 2010 19:50:24 GMT -5
Love it!
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